Dragula

Dragula

GENRE: Comedy
Click For Audio Commercial

"DRAGULA IS OUTRAGEOUS FUN FROM START TO FINISH! YOU WON'T JUST SMILE READING THIS ONE; YOU'LL FIND YOURSELF ACTUALLY LAUGHING OUTLOUD,...OVER AND OVER! DRAGULA IS A COMIC FEAST OF BAWDY PUNS,DOUBLE ENTENDRES AND NON-STOP HUMOR!DON'T MISS DRAGULA! WHAT HAS BEEN A CULT FOLLOWING UP UNTIL NOW IS SPREADING TO THE MAINSTREAM, AND THE REASON IS SIMPLE: DRAGULA IS GENUINELY FUNNY AND, UNLIKE SO MANY VAMPIRE TALES THESE DAYS, DRAGULA DOESN'T SUCK!" - Dijk Stroka

The "G" Spot, a cabaret where transvestites come for a night of care-free fun is the home of the singing and dancing star DRAGULA. Into the night, Dragula ventures, seeking those she can transform into transvestites who will become the new performers at The "G" Spot, where, as Renarde, the MC spouts, it is "oh, so, hot, hot, hot." However, the Right Reverend Bobby Swagger is determined to stop Dragula and put an end to what the Reverend calls the "sinful spreading of this perverted sexuality." Using the horrific Big Daddy and a special formula provided by Tailgate the lesbian gypsy fortune teller and her herbalist assistants, The Three Bitches, Swagger confronts Dragula. With the support of the converted Downina Jones, Carmen Ensalada, Curtina Upp, and the Dickey Chicks Trio, Dragula fights back to prove once and for all that "It's all right to be a transvestite."

EXCERPT

“You see, don’t you, Miss Twingle,” Reverend Swagger raged, pacing in front of the club entrance as he watched the gigantic lips above him contract and open again. “This is why I followed the calling to come here from my tiny parish at Intercourse, Pennsylvania. I loved Intercourse and I loved the ways of Intercourse, but I knew I had been sent a higher calling. Oh, yes, Miss Twingle. I had my doubts. At first, I did not understand why I could have no more Intercourse. But now I see that my unwavering faith and trust has shown me the way. This is why I spent all those lonely months at the YMCA among the Village people longing for Intercourse until I was able to finally establish a new humble parish a few blocks from here at the edge of Satan’s very back yard. This is my purpose.” Though a devoted employee, Miss Twingle frequently had trouble grasping Reverend Swagger’s specific references. This was one of those times. “Why, Reverend Swagger,” Tammy Twingle said with a breathy Marilyn Monroe quality, “You’re so courageous. I can’t help but admire what you’re saying, but I’m not sure I understand exactly what you mean.” Swagger ran a frustrated hand through the locks of his wavy, black hair and pointed to the club entrance. “Ah, my dear, devoted, sweet, naïve Miss Twingle. What did you see going on in there tonight?” “Well, they all seemed to be having a good time.” Swagger shook his head, knowingly. “Yes, it’s just as I suspected. That’s why I brought you along, Miss Twingle. Don’t you see? The naïve have no idea. And that’s why it’s so dangerous. “Why whatever do you mean?” “The spreading sin of subverted sexuality, Miss Twingle!” Swagger snarled, leaning in close to Tammy’s face as he jabbed an angry finger toward the entrance in front of him. “This is it! The ‘G’ Spot is the very core of hedonism. Don’t you see? Intercourse was never like this. That’s why I’m here. To bring the wrath of redemption to this den of iniquity and stamp out this subversion, this affront to all that is decent. Because it's like a plague, Miss Twingle, and if it isn’t stopped, it will grow and spread until it engulfs us all. But that’s not going to happen! Because I’m going to stop it. NOW I SEE THE WAY!” Miss Twingle’s head tilted to one side. “How?” Swagger was moving again now, his steps bold and defiant as he paced. “Not how, Miss Twingle,…WHO! At last I see WHO! WHO IT IS I MUST STOP FROM SPREADING THIS DEGRADATION!” “Who?” Miss Twingle questioned, her blond hair bouncing as her head tilted in the opposite direction. “Why Satan’s servant, Miss Twingle. Don’t you see? This is my mission! This is what took me from no more Intercourse to The ‘G’ Spot. This is my calling. IT IS DRAGULA! I MUST STOP DRAGULA!"